On ‘Letting Go’: sitting on my balcony now, typing this on my phone, viewing the heavily clouded sky with spurts of rain amidst roars of thunder – with the incessant ringing of the wind chime, reminds me of this morning in the photos – by the Ganges a few years ago. Cyclone Yaas apparently bypassed Calcutta…
I vividly recall – the best time I’ve spent with myself yet – is with the backdrop of the sun rising or setting over the Ganges; also listening to the thunder and then the lightening wash over the sky that bursts into rain – slowly soaking into every crevice of my solitary soul – whose rhythm and waves become one with the Ganges.
My thoughts on sitting by the Ganges in Rishikesh, which is the last and ending poem of my first book of poems “Fragments” – the blurb is in the frames here – is in the link below.
My 2nd collection of poems “Trouvailles…” has an entire section of 20 poems on the Ganges in Varanasi/Banaras.
Yet, all the spiritual thoughts, writings and experiences – seeing death so closely even from the ghats of Banaras like Manikarnika, as I’ve defined in all my books, did not prepare me, let alone insulate me from the sudden loss of my mother on 21st April. It took away the wind beneath my strong sails and made me drown – this desolation is also due to all that I’d been through in the last few months in seeing the desperation death brings – everyday at a hospital in Chennai.
All these varied human experiences will now go into my next novel that’s stalled after over 7-8 chapters due to life’s circumstances.
But I allow myself to feel everything I’m going through with the loss and pain and isolation, and today I have an awakened sense of gratitude that I can still feel so acutely inspite of all the circumstances I’ve witnessed.
What use is a non-feeling poet or novelist – if I had turned to stone and merely recorded human experiences with facts and figures like newspaper articles or non fiction, without the ability to empathise, analyse and bring out and depict the actual human experiences, be it joy or pain.
So I’m thankful to the ending of my poem below, or the thoughts that occurred to me then – that I understand attachment much better today, more than I did when I wrote this poem sitting by the Ganges.
Reminded of these pertinent lines now…
“Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place.”
— Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. – was an American novelist, satirist, and graphic artist. He was recognized as New York State Author for 2001-2003.
“Letting Go” –
Before me now, the river Ganges peacefully flows,
its green ripples frothing over white cobbled stone;
grazing boulders it glides with no perceptible force –
yet it flushes my heart of all its obstinate toxic woes
…to read the rest please click the post link:
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